The Purpose of Love

This is about the purpose of love. This is the truth of love–making, and it is because people don’t know the truth of love–making, that love–making results in so much unhappiness and heartbreak.

For we are lost, we people, as far as love goes. But because life is in each one of us nothing is really lost. Only when we hear can we save the situation. When we don’t hear we go through the old human experience of ups and downs, falling in love and out of love, heartbreaks and all the rest of it, until we truly hear and decide: ‘I want love. I don’t want to compromise anymore.’

Your body is the ground of your existence – nobody can deny that because everything you do, wherever you are your body is with you. I’m not talking about your imagination and where you can go with that, because you are still in your body while you are imagining and while you are thinking in faraway places, you are still in your body. For your body is your reality in this existence, it is your ground. The purpose of love – of making love – is for me the man to raise the consciousness of my body through my love of the particular woman I am making love to and for her body to be raised in consciousness. That is why it’s important to be with a partner in love and not with experimentation.

Casual affairs are purely experimental and they downgrade the body of the people taking part, because there is not enough love in the contact. It’s a matter of excitement and when the body vibrates with excitement, the ground is faulty. Because the body should never be excited, the body should be stable and still and able to perceive the mystery of love, to be able to have the love flowing through it and that is not exciting, that is fulfilling. And what is fulfilling is not exciting, like passion – despite what most people think – passion is absolutely still. In the midst of extraordinary sensation of pleasure or beauty in the action of making love the passion is absolutely still. Because the love is reflected of the intellect, which is absolutely still, and you get this extraordinary situation of a passion, which is absolutely still and yet is creating in the action of making physical love creating extraordinary pleasure and beauty.

Now of course we all pass into that at different times with different partners. That is the wonder of our bodies and of the life that’s in us that sometimes with a different partner we can experience or have a great passionate knowledge of love and pleasure. But what we are looking for, aren’t we, is something that endures, an enduring love, not something that’s here for a few weeks or a couple of months and then starts to fade, we are not looking for that, surely. And that’s why I want to talk to you about the purpose of love and lovemaking.

Now as far as I am concerned as the man my purpose if I make love to a woman is to first of all delight her and not delight myself.

It’s sufficient for me that she allows me to make love with her, to enter her body. For I would not be entering her body if she did not have some right ground there for me to communicate with. For I cannot enter any body, I have to enter a body that has a certain amount of right ground and when that’s there I can enter a part of the right ground and through my love of her, through my love of the principle of woman, and I am talking for all men, through my love of the principle of woman I can reach through this ground a part of her that delights her and at the same time informs her of a love that possibly she has not known before.

Now, what I am doing in doing that, is changing her ground, because lovemaking is supposed to change the ground of the other.

We come together by some chemistry or by some karma. It does not matter how we come together – but that the reason that we come together is to change our ground.

And the fact that we come together with this man or woman or this man or woman, but not all those men or women, is that there is a possibility of changing ground here, of something good and right coming out of it.

That’s why we are attracted to each other when we come together. But we have to be right inside ourselves and know what we are doing. We have to know the purpose of love.

As I was saying the purpose of man loving a woman is to delight her. Then in her delight, in being delighted with his love – because I don’t mean excite a woman, I don’t mean excite her and give her an orgasm, orgasm might happen, I am not talking about that – I am talking about the sheer delight of knowing, that she is being loved.

Now that to a woman is an extraordinary thing to know in the action of making love that she is actually being loved now. It’s the most beautiful thing to her because she is on this earth for that very purpose – to be loved. That’s why she’s on the earth – and then I change her ground to the degree that I am innocent in my love.

There are several factors working here of course. I as man, there is several factors working.

First, I must endeavor to delight the woman and not excite her, there is a difference. Any woman will tell you the difference, who is approaching being a real woman.

Then there is my innocence. It’s a form of innocence not to try to excite her but to truly enjoy her. And in that enjoyment, when a woman psychically knows that the man is truly enjoying her, not for an end, not for a purpose, not for an object, not for an orgasm, not for excitement. All those things make her psychically hold back. But when she knows the man is innocently got no intention of getting something for himself, only the delight of making love with her body; which it is a beautiful delight to make love to a woman - that is sufficient and he must be innocent.

Now innocent means that he is not trying to excite her so that there is an end to it, an orgasm, an end, that they’re going to get up and end it and perhaps come back in a couple of weeks’ time, that’s an end. No!

He’s got to be innocent, his, as his body, that we are practicing through the spiritual life, as his body becomes more pure, meaning he is giving up as much as possible thinking, he is giving up as much as possible wanting.

He is giving up as much as possible asserting himself, giving his anger or his negativity to others that he’s supposed to be loving, the more he does that, he changes his own ground, a sort of purity comes into him, which as he continues doing this becomes an innocence. He becomes like a boy again, and it’s a very wonderful thing for a woman, a real woman to make love with a man who is innocent like a boy, although full of all the experience that he has, but not attached to his experience and not using it err err to excite her, but just to love her. He has to be as innocent as possible of any objective, except to delight her and to enjoy her.

If you look at the action of making love and you’ve all made love, it’s a very beautiful thing in its own right. You don’t have to add anything to it. You don’t have to put on the black stockings and the leather boots, you don’t have to get up to all that nonsense, because that was invented by man, not invented by woman. But woman got the idea because of the sex that was in man, that invented that entered her. And then she became a quarter of a man or a half of a man who lived through excitement in sex. And so, when she makes love to a man who truly loves she can’t feel him, it’s too subtle for her and she gets tired of it and bored because there’s no sexual stimulation there’s only love. And it’s quite a crossing over between what we’ve been used to as men and women, what we’ve been used to in the past and the crossover of what I ‘m talking about and what many of you men are practicing, the crossover is not easy. It’s not easy for the man and it’s not easy for the woman to give up sexual excitement.

But am I getting it right when I say that the action of making love of two bodies is a very, very beautiful thing a pleasurable thing, a beautiful thing in its own sensational right. Now I’m not talking about any mind in that you’ll notice, I’m talking about the two bodies interacting in making love. Is it a very beautiful thing in its own right?

If you put the mind into it- because the mind can never make love, the mind always wants to make excitement, it does not know anything about love. So, if you put the mind in it, you lose the innocence, the man loses his innocence and then he infects the woman with his excitement, with his sexual excitement and she loses the power to sense true love, the true delight of physical lovemaking without a contrived – contrivance of fantasy and all the rest of what man has invented and women have continued to expand on.

So, you see I’m talking about a way of life, which is a way of love, I mean, isn’t the way of life about love, for God’s sake what do you think about most of the time? What do all the men out there playing the poker machines and all the rest of it and there’s nothing wrong with playing the poker machines I’m only talking about ordinary people what do they think about all the time? The women are always talking about the men and the men are always thinking about the women. So, I’m talking about something that is called life for us.

If a woman has many promiscuous affairs – and there is nothing wrong with that in her early life in these times – there’s nothing wrong with that because it is the experience of these times in most cases – that is just how it is right now.

She doesn’t know what she is doing, he doesn’t what he is doing and the result is confusion in both of them, because if you don’t know what you’re doing you breed confusion. Now by the way of things this is necessary in this existence.

It’s a terrible thing it would seem, but we all have to go into it, into experience, into the experience, experimentation with sex, because we don’t know any better. Because nobody has ever told us and we can’t listen anyway because we think we know it all when we’re young. So, we have to go into that and get the experience. Then the time comes when we are filled with the experience of sex and its debilitating force, with its excitement that seems to be necessary to work the woman up. Every man or most men think that woman has got to be worked up to make love and so he works furiously at working her up.

That woman then jumps like a puppet through the excitement and man goes for exciting her, to work her up so that he can then get inside of her. Now that’s all experience of course and there is nothing wrong with that experience when we don’t know any better. It’s when we know better and you come to me and you hear what I am saying or you’ve listened to my making love tapes and you still go on courting excitement and allowing man to excite you, that’s when you’ll get confused and you get unhappy and you get emotional, because you’re pulling in one way, which you know is the truth, the truth of love, which you are and you’re pulling the other way out of the need for excitement.

And when you get two wants pulling in different ways, you get confusion and out of confusion arise emotion and unhappiness.

So, in those early days every woman’s vagina and her body is grounded in a wrong energy of sex. She loves for the wrong reasons; she becomes attached to a man. She might love him and be absolutely true to him but at that stage she doesn’t know that he is making love to other women because he won’t tell her. And so, there is a mixture of his sexuality with other women going into this woman who loves him and who really thinks that he loves her and her alone because she loves him so much-and it’s all a lie. He doesn’t, he’s dishonest. Now I am not saying this is every man, but I’d say it was most men. I think we’ve got deep secrets inside of us haven’t we men? I think we’ve got many deep secrets in us of what we have done. But that’s alright if we know no better. But when we know better, well, it’s a waste of time.

You have to make the transformation from sexual excitement to love, loving pleasure and passion and beauty. Not easy, when we have been indoctrinated by a society that is rotten with sex. That has sex shops and brothels everywhere, nobody really explains why there’re brothels –nobody makes a statement what brothels are for. I mean, brothels serve a great purpose in that man is such a furious force, sexual force, that he has to release that, or he thinks he has to release that somewhere, and the only way he can release it apart from masturbation which never really does the trick except for a little while, is in woman.

And so, he goes to a brothel because he doesn’t have to have the trouble of wooing her, does he? He doesn’t have to love her; he can simply indulge himself for a few minutes or a little while. And then he can go away, but the secret of it is, he has received the energy of woman.

Now, woman is a principle and although the woman might have received many, many men and her ground be tainted by all these men, deep underneath there is the principle of woman willingly serving in brothels, not consciously knowing, but where I know, she takes, she takes the force out of man, otherwise he’d be running around, killing more people than he’s already killing. So, it helps to restore some peace in him. And so, she makes a sacrifice of her life, not consciously, not the particular woman, but the woman of God, that is in every woman, makes this available for man who has not yet learned to grow up, to be responsible for his own life and his own love, to make his own love, instead of having to go to one, that’s being made for him, but can never really give him what he is looking for. So, we’ve got two things working here, we’ve got what I love, the principle of woman. You’ll often hear me talking from that point, the principle of woman, it is the principle of the woman, that’s in every prostitute, who is doing what she’s doing, although consciously she has no knowledge of that, she’s doing that on behalf of us all. She is woman taking the claw out of man. We’ve got the principle of woman in her, that knows what love is, but cannot be reached because of the tremendous activity and force that’s going on there – not Love, just sexual indulgence and sexual nonsense and performance and everything.

That’s on top – that performance – is on top of the real woman. And, sometimes the real woman shines through in all women, and she has intimations of what she truly is.

That she is the principle of love, and the principle of love of course is an aspect of God, and she is that. But we are so busy that those intimations are quickly buried.

Now, the thing is for the man, to make his own love, to make his own ground.

So, sooner or later, having had all the experience he has had and found out that it doesn’t fulfill him as he thought it would, he then finds a partner and as I say they’re drawn together or they meet each other by the way of karma because they have something to, to deliver to each other.

So, they make love. So, one of the bodies is going to be a different to the other. And in the ordinary world this goes backwards and forwards and round and round.

But in the life of love that I teach, the man then starts to live rightly, having lived rightly, got his ground of his body right by making himself more and more pure innocence, pure of thought, pure of sex, pure of fantasy, becomes innocent.

Having made his body like that he can the make love innocently or rightly. And then he can, he delights the woman, not by performance, he delights the woman by what she loves most, is his innocence and beauty, his non-trying.

You know, it is a wonderful thing for a woman to get a man who is not trying to make love with her. Now you women must know what I am talking about.

Most of the men, that you’ve had, are trying to make love with you. And there I something not right about it and you know it. But you don’t know what it is, until someone tells you or you experience a man who is not trying to make love with you, he’s just making love with you, a very big difference. And that’s a great relief for woman: he’s not trying.

Now, in trying, when man tries, he’s got force in him, he’s got intention in him. And intention is force in this sense. And so, he, he tries, he performs, he can’t help, he’s lived this all his life and he’s heard it from his mother and his father, everyone performs and so it’s very difficult to get out of that habit.

And what the woman really craves for is someone to make love with her without trying and without performance.

That’s not to say that the sexual woman who is half man or a quarter man because he’s put the sex into her, which is really man’s possession, not to say that she doesn’t look for performance and excitement. So, I’m not dealing with that aspect, I’m dealing with where you are. I’m telling you what, you men, what women love, even if she can’t tell you herself, because you can’t hear her or she doesn’t know, consciously.

She does not like a man who tries, because trying has force in it and you’re not supposed to use force in making love. You’re supposed to have power and force is not power. But the world knows nothing about the difference between these two words.

Because force is mechanical, all the motorcars are force, all the earth movers are force, all our actions, all our actions where we intend to do something or want to do something has got force in it.

Whereas the making love is such a paradise, such a beauty, I do not need to use any force. It is just the sheer pleasure and beauty of our two bodies coming together. So, when the man has lived the spiritual life if I could say as I teach it long enough and got rid of his negative emotions as much as possible, he doesn’t have to of course got rid of everything and his thinking process has slowed down, then his body goes through a transformation, a change, gradual change every day, his ground starts to vibrate much faster than what it used to. The ground of ignorance vibrates very slowly, that’s why we need excitement and sex, you see, because the ground is so slow moving, so turgid, so dead, so, so dormant, that we got to excite it and we got to find some way to excite it, excite it and the most powerful way in the world to excite anything is sex.

Once we know better, we will not settle for the old excitement and entertainment. Oh, it might take a while to get rid of it, no doubt. In many cases it takes a long time to get rid of the self’s missing of the sexual excitation. But gradually it goes, the need of that and as it goes out of the man it goes out of the woman.

Because her ground, her ground is being changed by the interaction, by his loving her ground is being changed. Or, the other way round, if she is a woman of love who knows what she is doing and has lived and got rid of most of her negative emotions and wantings and tryings and force, then she’s changing him and that’s, on both sides that’s not easy. And there are times of, of a sort of feeling of hopelessness, is it ever going to work? And yet, they never give up, men of love, woman of love, they never give up.

It might finish because there is no point, they can’t go any further, but they never give up while the other is willing and loving enough. And so, the more we make love rightly as I am describing the more innocent becomes the body and the more swiftly does it, what will we say, the cells or something inside of it vibrate until it reaches a point of resonance which I always rate above vibrations.

The greater the oscillation of anything, the more still it becomes. And that’s what happens in our bodies. And we come somehow or other we become more holy. More holy means more innocent, more nothing. You know, it is holy to be nothing. So, what does that mean?

The more nothing I am, the more being is in my body. The being. Not just my being, the being is in my body when I am holy, the more holy I am. And the being of course is the beginning of God in our bodies. When you go into being and you’re really there and you are nothing, that’s the beginning of the most high, the holy one. And so, the body vibrates at this wonderful holy state.

Not that you can know you are holy, because that would be knowing something and you can’t know something if you’re nothing. All you can know is I love, or life is good or I have no problems, ah, I am most blessed, well, you can fill in the rest, you’ll notice, not one negative, because that’s holy to have no opposite to absence, to be as nothing, because when you’re as nothing the being is living your life for you, it’s going a little further, the being that you are, makes love through you. Because we don’t make love, we make trouble and we make emotion.

But when we start to give up being anything, performance, when we start to give up performing and performance and expectations something else comes into our bodies and it is making the love although there is no doubt, I am there, I am there, and my body is doing it, but there is this fine sense of something else. And that’s what absence is, that love makes love through my body. I am making love, but not I, love makes love through me, see? Now, I am talking about what is possible in your body to reach this er, this er res... what was I talking about, resonance, resonance, this oscillation of great speed and of course if you make love to someone that is receptive to that, it changes their ground.

It very, very, everything is done quite as we know imperceptibly really, and it takes time, but the ground of the other is changed and they never be the same again. Although it takes time, and while I am doing that, because I am loving rightly, I become more and more absent, I become more and more love, whoever I am the man or the woman, because I am loving for love and not for myself.

And so, my resonance is raised and if my partner’s resonance is being raised and I’m being raised, then we’re both going towards a sort of heaven – and that is possible between man and woman in making love. And I f they break apart, still their bodies resonate at the same rate that they are, they, they don’t go backwards. Although sometimes the mind can think that it’s going backwards because you’re going through a rough patch and the other is not responding as much as you know they can and you might think, the mind might think, well, is it ever going to change, you know, but it’ll change or you will leave each other, because this is run by a great intelligence.

So, I trust I’ve communicated the purpose of making love, I’ll just repeat that: first of all, for man is to delight the woman and to not please himself, for him to in his other life in his ordinary life is to keep giving up his negativity and living the divine life as I teach it as much as possible. For that will make him more able to make love to a woman. He must also have the knowledge that it is a great pleasure to be inside, to make love with a woman, to be inside her vagina. It is a great wonderful pleasure. And for her, if she doesn’t know it’s such a pleasure, it means that her vagina still has the vibrations of yesterday’s men and she must do her part in giving up the memories of those things.

The holding on to memory is a very deadening, a very deadening thing in these bodies to hold on to the memory of yesterday. It deadens you; it keeps you were you were. It keeps repeating the old disappointments of yesterday by thinking about them, you don’t need them, they’re gone. And as I said yesterday, why do you need a childhood?

Unless you can tell me only beautiful things about your childhood, I don’t want to hear about it, thank you, you haven’t had a childhood. But if you tell me, how innocent you were and how you loved your mother and father and how they loved you and how you loved running down to the park and you could actually stride what seem to be ten paces with one jump, because you were so filled with love of life, if you told me all that, well, that has no opposite, that’s the youth in us, that’s the love in us.

But if you want to tell me about how cruel your mother and father were to you, or how they mistreated you or how you, or how you were physically abused, then I say, you’ve been holding on to this, or do not know what life’s about. You must not hold on to those things for they re-occur. That’s what reincarnation is that, that emotion of past abuse, of past cruelty, of past hurt keeps recurring because we keep thinking about it. And then we say, I have no power over it, it just keeps rising in me. That’s because the emotion keeps rising, because you have given the emotion the power to take you over.

And it begins by thinking about the event. You see, when it happened, you would have thought about it, you would have laid in bed as a child and you would have dreaded or thought about whatever it was, that was so hurtful to you, you would have thought about it and you would have taught yourself how to thought. And would re-live the emotion of the abuse or whatever it was. You know, how we re-live emotions? You know, when you want to re-live having been disappointed by somebody, you think about them and up comes the emotion of it and we tend to enjoy going over it, the pain, the pain. But isn’t it lovely to be able to re-experience that? Now, that’s humanness, that’s death. That’s re-incarnation of the disappointments and hurts of yesterday.

You do not need a childhood. And when people come to me and say the got to go to a therapist, because they think it goes back to their childhood, I say, no, no, no! You are a man or a woman, you are responsible for your life now.

Now, anything that you had in your life in the past, which was distressing or hurtful to you that you think that you have to go to a therapist to get rid of, is already in your life now. That is the integrity of life. You don’t have to have a past, you don’t have to go into the past, although that satisfies your self.

You have to have the guts, the courage, the straightness to look into your life now, where am I compromising, where am I making the best of things, where it’s not the best of things, but I’m making it. Where am I living dishonestly to my self, where I know, that I ‘m something else, but I am living this because… Why, out of fear? Perhaps so. But that’s not to say, that you can always take some action immediately, but the important thing is to see it that you are living a lie, that you are compromising and you are causing yourself pain because of it.

Just see it, and then eventually you will change it. If not immediately, then you will change it eventually, because you become more intelligent, when you are prepared to look at it. Now would any one like to ask me a question of what I’ve spoken about, please? We are talking about purpose.

The purpose of your life, because you all make love or you all think about it, or you all have the opportunity somehow or other. So, I am talking about your life. Have I introduced some other dimension to it, some more reality to what the world just does, experiments with, performs, instead of being?

Anyone have a question?

Yes, this gentleman.

Q: Earlier today you were talking about the energy of, of death and feeling that in, in my body, and, and sometimes when I am making love, I feel that or what, what seems to be exactly what you are saying and I don’t really understand where that comes from when I am making love.

A: Well, it is true, it can rise and often, you know, orgasm signifies death and it is such a pleasure and it ends something, it ends. It ends the desire, usually, generally speaking. And that’s what death does, death is very beautiful, and it ends the desire, for a desire is only of this earth.

So, it could rise there, yes indeed it could but nothing really can cut of the pleasure of your penis in, your loving penis in your loving woman. That in itself is quite separate from anything, that’s a body sensation, nothing to do with the mind or anything and that in its own right is a very beautiful thing, I think you will agree. Yes. So, I wouldn’t be disturbed about that death thing rising in you, I think that’s a very good, good sign if I might say that. Because this is a life about death and it’s a death, a living death about life.

We’re talking about realities, okay? And another thing about making love without force, without performance, without experimentation is that the pleasure that I have just mentioned and you all know it the pleasure of the penis in the vagina in its own right is such a sensation of pleasure, that pleasure transforms into beauty, that’s the extraordinary thing about it.

Whereas, if you’re still performing and getting excited you might say it’s beautiful, but it’s not beauty. Because natural pleasure turns into beauty, now, what the distinctions are between pleasure and beauty I can’t make, except to say all pleasure that is real should turn into beauty. Well, if we look at anything that gives us pleasure, I think finally we’ll say it is beautiful, it is beauty. And that’s what’s happening in our bodies in making love. Anyone else have a question please?

Yes, this lady.

Q: I’d like to ask, yesterday you spoke about… I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Yesterday you spoke about making love and how the past is brought up from making love. Could you speak more about that, please, just clarify it for me?

A: Yes, yes. So, the lady is saying that yesterday I spoke about how making love brings up the past in us. Well, that’s what it’s supposed to do. If we’re all getting excited and that, it’ll bring up our excited past and we’ll get more excited and all things will go on. But in right lovemaking between the man and woman, where they love one another and they are willing, they’re willing to find something in this love, every sexual disappointment in your life, every lover you’ve ever had is still there emotionally in your body, it doesn’t just go away, it lies down there and it’s called a part of your self, your emotional content down there. Now love - emotion is not love.

But love stirs the emotions of yesterday because emotions are twisted pieces of love.

When you’re loved you don’t get emotional, when you’re not loved and you’re abused or disappointed or just sexually excited instead of being loved, that creates an emotion there. And that’s a twisted bit of love, because we’re all love and we should be able to make love without any complications or disappointments in it.

But when it gets disappointed, the love that we are, gets a twist in it, a separation as it were instead of a union, which love does, we, emotion breaks off and feels unloved, it feels abused, it feels left behind, not really loved, it feels used, or disappointed and that lies there. Now, emotions want to be loved, naturally, because they are a broken off piece of love that is disappointed and like a child down there and there are many children in us crying, like the lady who spoke yesterday about abuse, there would be a child in her if it happened in her childhood or whenever it happened, crying in her.

Crying, right down deep inside of her and she would feel the sadness, this awful sadness in her from time to time because the child in her is crying from time to time because it was abused and unhappy. The love that we make is supposed to bring up this emotion because it will attract the emotion, because the emotion wants to be loved. So, it wants to come up and join in the love that’s being made now to have a sense of union, but it doesn’t do that.

It comes up and reveals itself to be not love and can cut off the love that we are making now, because it’s a sort of a reincarnation. As I said, you can see people, if you stir the past in them, their faces will change psychically and they will take on another image.

And even of when they were a teenager or a girl, the dreadful pain can appear psychically, because this is all psychic. And so, it’s not very far from our understanding that this emotion of the past comes up and we actually relive the horror or the disappointment or the feeling of being used, we live it in the midst of the love we are making now.

That’s how powerful it is and of course when emotion, which is not love comes into love, the love disappears and we are unable to join in the love.

Q: Barry, so when that happens, because that’s been happening to me recently, what do I do?

A: You have to endeavor to just see, that this is an old emotion putting itself on the present, that means the past is putting itself on the present and that’s not holy is it, the present is now and this is the past and you must see it as much as you can and with the help of your partner you must be able to say it to him, I’ve got this thing, it’s only in my past, it’s something out of my past come up and cut me off. I’s an emotion and I’ve got this, this very depressing or awful feeling in me or disappointment, I don’t want to make love for instance, that’s it, in the past coming into where you’re making love and it doesn’t want to make love, whereas you’re making love, it’s crazy, but that’s how it works in all of us. Until you can look at it often enough and the more your intelligent gaze is on it, the more it can’t stand intelligence. Emotion, you’ll notice, hides in the dark, it hides in not being revealed, because the personality is supposed to hide our disappointments, our miserable life and wretchedness and all that and we get on a nice personality and we fool everyone we think. And so, emotion you’ll notice hides in the dark. But when you let the light in and there is no room for emotion, somehow it just goes.

So, it is good for you to look at these things and see them because you’re woman, you are love. You have the power of love in you and you’ve had to pass through your experience like all of us had to and that’s what this world’s about, because the world was built by man’s mind. You know, it wasn’t, woman is, you heard me say, woman is a hundred percent love and man is ninety percent with something to do.

Now man did not consult woman in his making of this world. He used woman, he made her have children to look after his farms or whatever it was, he used her. But he forgot about love and so his world became, had no woman in it, no love of woman, only his mind or his notion how things should be. And that was a loveless, a loveless direction that he went in, because he did not truly love woman as I am talking about it. All these generations away from when the world was made by man, so he made it without love. So, what do you see when you truly look at this world.

You see a world without love in it, a world of sex, where all the movies, all the magazines, you can’t even get a magazine unless it tries to get some sex on the front page. You can’t go to a movie unless they’re climbing into each other’s mouth. You can’t do anything unless it’s got sex in it because that’s the way it is, we made this world and now we’ve got to live in it. But the individual can change it, you and I can change it.

But my goodness it’s got a rip-roaring start on us, hasn’t it. But the beauty of it is, everybody dies, so it’s alright, there’s no losers really. But please note that your past will come up in those moments, particularly in lovemaking and cut the woman off, so often does she cut off, that the emotion come(s) across her and she cuts off. And the man’s job then is to love her through it because when that emotion comes up, if he’s loving her, he’s not likely to feel like loving her.

Because when she is in that mode, she’s not lovable, she was in disappointment and hurt, unless he’s sexually using her, he’ll pull back too, because she doesn’t have the appeal for him, because this entity, the past has come into her, and this is not the woman that he loves, it’s the past in her, but he has to be man enough to not be affected by that, to not be repelled by that , but to love her and say, it’s alright I love you. Sometimes when it gets to shouting or anything like that by the woman, then he has to indeed pull back and not indulge her, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t go on loving her. Beause these are powerful forces we’re talking about, I’m sure you all know that. And woman seems most vulnerable to it.

And that’s what man’s penis is about, if you’ve ever listened to my making love tapes, I’m sure, I say this in there, I do. Man’s penis is supposed to take the world out of woman and the world is just what you talked about, your past experiences with man, your disappointment, your unhappiness, the lady’s abuse. The loving penis is supposed to go in there into the vagina where all these things lie, in that consciousness and gradually through love take it out of her. So, there is no more need to, to be concerned about that past now, because I love you now, not in the past, I love you now. And that’s what it’s supposed to do and she’s supposed to feel greater love and freedom as he takes it from her. But if he’s just gonna sex her up then he puts in sex into her and she knows again disappointment and or the unhappiness or something underneath that’s just not fulfilled. That’s what sex does to us.

Anyone else have a question please?

Yes, Stuart.

Q: It seems to me that being together constantly and making love… that the act of merging together, what it seems to be doing to me is gradually reducing my separation or my individuality or independence and it seems to be sort of impacting on, like a core of male independence in me, which um I seem to be more with my love at times, I’m becoming, I’m taking on qualities, that I see in my love in the woman and sometimes I don’t really know, like, who Stuart was, seems to be diminishing, which seems to be more or less confusing, because I don’t know who I am, we’re almost one entity.’

A: Well, who Stuart was, seems to be a creature of the past, because Stuart now doesn’t have any past, so therefore we don’t know who he is, do we? Only, when he’s got a past. So, you’re right, you get rid of your past you don’t know who you are. (chuckle) Right, so you gotta be ready for that one to, haven’t you? See, we’re creatures of the past, that’s our…, that’s what we are, our past. But are we, when you come down to that? You don’t know, who you are, you have no past.

Q: ’ It seems to, so… sort of, I don’t know, the, the, the of sort of hand… I seem like, a constant process of handing, handing over and sort of letting go into it, then there is this sort of core of resistance that I sense from my psyche, that’s been there like a nut almost.’

A: Yes, man’s independence is the last think to go and it’s got a core down there somewhere indeed, that’s what made him the ten percent something to do, what he thought should be done.

But gradually he finds out, that it’s God’s will that should be done and I don’t have to do anything, and that’s where you, what you’re talking about and that, you’re right down at that nitty -gritty. And you’re still, you’re still a young man, aren’t you? I mean, you’re in your thirties, aren’t you?

Q: ‘Yes’.

A: You know, and the life must go on and every bit of life reduces more and more, when you’re in love, making love, and being love reduces more and more, because that’s what age is about, the maturity of becoming less and less anything.

And so, what you talk about down there is probably the rest of your life, that’s all you’ve got to live and that will just gradually disappear.

Q: Because it seems in my life that I’m going forward more and more into the world and sort of doing what I have to do as a man to be responsible for that. But there also seems to be the other process of going back the other way, like I’m going in two directions at once.

A: Well, that’s true, you gotta go into the world and you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do according to your karma. You’ve just got to do what you’ve got to do until your karma and the inner state reach a, a balance, where you don’t have much to do at all, like me.

You know it seems I do a lot, but I don’t do much at all and I don’t have much to do and I don’t want to do anything but what I do. And you know, but that’s a product of age, having driven into the world having done all the things I can now gratefully give you the benefit of my years because that’s what I’m doing here.

Q: ‘Yes.”

A: And I am as nothing and you are a young man an’... as nothing, that’s a wonderful thing.

Q: ‘Thank you, Barry.’

A: Thank you, Stuart.

Anyone else have a question, please? It’s a great subject, isn’t it? We’ll all be involved in it tonight or tomorrow night or next week and if we are not, if we don’t have a partner, then it’s very important to know, that what you are doing in your daily life in overcoming the wanting of a partner, because a partner will come or someone will come to you at the right time.

Because you don’t have to want, for that’s a part of self-expression. Give up the wanting. Give up the longing, because that’s a part of self-expression too. Just live the divine life as you know it to be and purify your body by giving up your negativity in all its respects. Then, when someone does come, no matter how old you are, you will be more purer and ready to love than you are now.

But don’t long for someone to come. I tell you, God knows, what God’s doing, God’s in charge. You don’t have to worry. God hasn’t lost control of things. It’s man that’s lost control of things, but it’s God that hold it all together, no matter what he does. It’s a wonder he hasn’t destroyed himself time and time again in this century. But God’s behind the scenes, holding it together despite man’s dreadful and horrific ignorance, with bombs and germ warfare, fighting and possessions. Still held together by the great power, which runs things. I’ve told you before the great story about man and God, but I mention it again. In the beginning, well, okay I am talking mythically, God said to man: Look, I’ve given you this whole earth, which I made and the nature and all the species and things to give you everything that you want, that’s in the earth, on the earth.

A transcript from one of Barry Long's public talks titled - The Purpose of Making Love, a session from a 5 day meeting in May 1998.

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