Bringing the Perfect Mate Into Existence
This article is drawn from a talk which is available freely here: https://www.barrylong.org/podcast/bringing-your-divine-partner-into-existence-the-secret-to-perfect-love
Your whole life is about bringing her — or him — into existence. Not someone outside of you. Not some dream figure you are chasing. But the true woman, the true man, the divine principle that lives behind the body. And no one else can do it for you. No master can do it for you. Although a master can tell you the truth, it is still you who must live it. You have to bring this true mate into existence.
From the first moment you felt love — from your first teenage dreams, your first clumsy loves, your first heartache — it was always the divine woman, the divine man you were seeking. You thought it was the body you loved, or the face, or the voice. But behind it all was the principle. And it is the same for woman seeking man. You have to go through all your loves, all your heartbreaks, all your losses — and each time something breaks in you, something of attachment falls away. Each heartbreak, though bitter, does something — it makes you a little less attached, a little more real. It is a slow process, but a necessary one.
If you are a man, she will give you hell — this principle. She will break your heart, she will put you in impossible situations, she will force you to surrender your willfulness, to give up your insistence on your own way. She will make you pliant, flexible, nonexistent. But not the woman herself — it is the principle in her, the divine aspect of Eve, that does this. It is not cruelty. It is the work of God.
And woman experiences the same. Man will give her hell. Not just for selfish reasons — although ignorance always appears selfish — but because, by the great plan of things, he also forces her to awaken, to give up her willfulness, to surrender her selfhood. It is all part of the divine plan for you to wake up.
The first sign that you are beginning to bring your true mate into existence is simple: you never want to be apart. You never want to go anywhere alone unless you absolutely must. Always together, always close. If you still want your nights out with the boys, or your weekend with the girls, then you have some way to go. If you still seek freedom away from your mate, it is not yet the true mate who has come into existence. The principle has not yet fully arrived.
But you cannot force this. Every body you have ever loved has been part of bringing this principle into being. You don’t know what body the divine mate will come through. It could be anyone you have loved, hated, or barely noticed. It is the principle that matters, not the body.
The perfect mate is not a possession. She is not yours to control. He is not yours to own. In the life divine, you love loving — that’s all. You love loving her. You love loving him. Not for what they give you. Not for what you hope to get. But what you can give. That is divine love. That is real union.
Do you love loving her? Not just the pleasure of sex, though that is beautiful. But do you love having breakfast with her? Do you love sitting quietly together, doing nothing at all? Do you love waking up and feeling blessed just to find her there beside you? That is the measure.
The human race does not love like this. It is too distracted. It loves its cars, its sports, its distractions. But you — the individual — you can. You can bring the divine mate into existence. Not by seeking. Not by striving. But by surrendering your selfhood, your expectations. And when you do, you will find her. You will find him. The divine mate. Not outside you — but brought into existence through your own awakening.
The Spiritual Life Is Practical