Resentment and jealousy

“You cannot love with resentment choking you in the chest, because that’s where it lies. It’s an invisible octopus, its tentacles wrapped around every wrong you ever suffered."

“Jealousy is like bashing your head against a wall—until you finally see that it’s you doing it. Then the head stops, and the wall vanishes.”

“You're jealous of the object because you haven't connected with the origin, which is the good. If you were in touch with the good, you'd have no need to possess.”

Barry taught that resentment and jealousy are emotional poisons rooted in self-centredness and unconscious habit. Resentment arises from unacknowledged pain, especially from not being loved or from unfulfilled emotional expectations in relationships. It clogs the heart and manifests as blame, self-pity, or internal rebellion. Barry emphasised that resentment must be faced, not justified—that is, seen directly in the body as emotional energy, particularly in the chest or solar plexus, and allowed to pass without identifying with it. Only then can the heart truly love without condition.

Jealousy, similarly, is an unconscious emotional reaction to perceived exclusion from love or attention. Barry described it as a form of inner violence—an attempt to possess what cannot be possessed. He pointed out that jealousy stems from disconnection from the source of love within oneself. The jealous person focuses on the external "object" of love, unaware that true love flows from within. By being still and facing the feeling without acting on it or blaming another, the emotion dissolves.

Both jealousy and resentment are healed through inner honesty, surrender, and a return to impersonal love.