The Divine Lover
Extract from an edited transcript, Meditation Group, Highgate, London, 20 May 1981.
The first need is to find God in yourself. The second is to find the bhagavat (God as man) or bhagavati (God as woman). If you truly love God, or truly love within, your bhagavat or bhagavati will be trying to get to you.
We all want a true lover, who is as true as we ourselves would love to be, and that is the bhagavati or the bhagavat - God personified. Some men know within themselves that they must hold this love, do nothing, and attract the bhagavati to them. But it is not wise for every man to sit and wait for her. A man may pursue her in many women and make his mistakes - although every woman he interacts with is an aspect of his bhagavati. He is learning how to love, discovering what is right for him in woman and what is not right in himself for her. He is making himself more worthy of loving her. By wholly learning to understand those who are not right for him, he keeps himself wholly unto She who is right for him.
There is no failure in love, only in the learning. A man has to work so hard at learning to love. But when he is capable of love, then the bhagavati will manifest to him, though perhaps not in her pure form. She reveals herself as ecstasy - and it can be physical ecstasy - though he is a fool who seeks that with a woman and does not pause to see the God in her. Where ecstasy is, he has to truly love.
Finally there is no difference between God and the bhagavat or bhagavati. He or she appears as God the lover … When I was united with my bhagavati, I was told by the divine, ‘I unite you as you always have been, as you always will be, and as you always are.’ In other words there had never been any separation. So what was all the pain and agony about, for so long? It was about the self, an accumulation of past, of psychic emotion. All we are doing is disintegrating the self, the past. This reduces the distance between I and me, or me and She. When that distance was dissolved I was one with my bhagavati.
The Demon Death