The Demon Death
Extract from an edited transcript, Meditation Group, Highgate, London, 20 May 1981.
Every thought, doubt, mood, is an attempt to escape from death - death as an emotion, a demonic fear. But you cannot run from death or ignore it. It is in yourself, in every living cell of tension and emotion. If you die before you face the Demon Death you will carry it with you. You will carry it in you until you face it.
The Demon Death is the part of you that you have never faced. It’s the emotional demon that tortures us with fears in the night and in the external world whenever it can get at us. Inside you it’s your demon. Outside you it’s the World Demon, always manoeuvring to unite with your demon. It has access to all the emotions of mankind. You’ve seen it in panic and war. Run, run. Hurt, hurt. Kill, kill. Demonic fear of death is behind every misery, cruelty and suffering in this world. But it is not faced, let alone understood, so this monster rampages at will. But my emotional past, my intrinsic fear of death - my demon - can be faced. It can be faced by not responding to that great giant parading on a stage of its own making as the voice of the world thundering at me.
Do you want to meet your demon now? Then feel yourself inside, that vital throbbing sensation. That, your psychic double, is both your God and the Devil in you. As God it draws you inward. As the devil of emotion it drives you outward.
The Demon Death may be quiet now. But he’ll be up and about shortly; make no mistake. He’ll get you talking and thinking about the past, then defending it and projecting it into the world. This demon emotion, this defence of your past, with your opinions, with your bewilderment when you’re faced with love, and your terror when love is demanded of you as the giving of yourself, all this stands between you and your God.
Man’s task is to unite with his vital double, to give up his defences, his fears, and die to all that he has been. But inasmuch as he remains separate or divided he will be emotionally or demonically invaded. Whatever it is - a tortured mind that cannot stop worrying, a seething mood or demons in the imagination or in the night - it’s all a play that takes place in man’s own emotional self or past. But your God will not let you rest while you are separated like this. Your vital double will not allow you rest until you are united with it.
While you are weak and cannot stand against the demons of thought and imagination you are not strong enough to be united with your psychic double and must go on living, trying to escape the Demon Death. But once union is achieved, the demons can no longer enter your space. They may appear but if you do not give them your vitality, they are powerless. It is we who give life to the demons that torment us.
Being Real