Another Dialogue with Self
Dialogue at a weekend retreat in Lamorna, Cornwall, UK, 13 June 1981
I am here to demonstrate the truth to you. I did not come to add to your experience of life. I came to take that away from you, so that you might experience the emptiness inside of you, the truth of yourself, which is nothing; and so that you can be with the truth and see the dishonesty demonstrated by the self - until you give it up, until you die to it. Or do you want more experience, more time, more pain? What’s going on in you?
What I am feeling is very agitated in the stomach.
What’s the relationship? You cannot get pain in the stomach like that unless there’s a relationship to someone. Is it me?
Yes, you.
Good! Now we’ve got self. So what’s your question? Self can’t ask a right question, but say it. Say it.
That’s provocative,
Of course it is. I want your self.
You haven’t given me space to formulate a question. I see you don’t give people space to really say what they’re feeling and …
Right. What’s your question?
You’re coming at me! Give me time … Here it is: If you’ve realised the truth why can’t you give people space to let theirs out?
Let what out? Why don’t you let yours out? Give it to me. I will take your pain.
I don’t want you to take my pain. My pain is mine.
Give it up. Give your self up. Be simple. Die now. Why don’t you die now? Die to yourself. Now. This moment. Or do you want more time?
I don’t want to be bulldozed.
Who cares what you want? Give it up. And you’re finished. I can only bulldoze the self. All the quiet people who want to get there gently and say it’s enough to get rid of it tomorrow; saying ‘be comfortable, enjoy yourself’ - all they do is feed the self. Oh no. I warn you: You can’t enjoy yourself in my company because the self has got to go.
I am still asking for more space, more time to formulate my question …
You want time and I am not going to give it to you. When it comes death never gives us time. You are holding a formulation. But really you are at war with yourself. You know what you are saying is nonsense. If you don’t recognise the truth when it speaks to you, then you’ll get your time. Time to go through the same pain again and again. If you have nothing in your tummy now, no resentment of me, you have no resentment of life, no resentment of yourself. I am here to demonstrate the truth to you. I come only to demonstrate the truth of yourself which is nothing, the emptiness inside of you, the space without accusation or judgment, so that you can be at peace and share in the truth I utter. I implore you, can you love me enough, your fellow man, to give up all reservations, all questions, can you give your self up in love?
I do love you Barry. Yes, I give it up.
What Is Now Is Right or Best